Comments on: Anti-Racism

By: Jean

Jean — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:17:54 +0000

My Friend told me of a divorced Chinese women working in Myers whom only married a European to have a white child and to get Citizenship. She’s rather pathetic isn’t she and unfornately she’s not the only person whom tries this.

I have 2 cousins Scott and Brett whose Father had a interracial marriage. The women a Philipino only married him because she wanted to escape from her parents and get a citizenship. Eventually with plain disregard and disrepect for Scott and Bretts own cultural lifestyle they lived in, she in the most nastiest way tried forcing her beliefs onto them with failure which ended up in both of them not specking to her or seeing her when they became adults. Hence not all interracial marriage are positive.

By: Adult from Negative Interracial Marriage

Adult from Negative Interracial Marriage — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:42:25 +0000

I’m from a interracial marriage and it has been total misery. I wish my parent would have married persons of their own culture/race and religion. My Father is not happy in it at all ‘he’s stating if he had of known what it was like being married to a person of another race/culture/religion he would not have done it in the first place. Because of my families interracial marriage my Father and me have suffered my mothers threats, intimidation, verbal and physical abuse. It has been totally a negative experience for 32 years

By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:13:48 +0000

I just found your blog. I love it. I have an interracial family and know what you are talking about. I embrace the positive things about having an IR family. I have made so many friends and have learn from them and have taught them some things. You have a beautiful family.

By: underOvr

underOvr — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 23:59:23 +0000

Shirl (@ Shades of Black And White) posted a link here and (of course) I followed. I enjoyed reading what you wrote about being at peace with who you are. I think ultimately, that’s what each of us strives for. Oftentimes we are extremely concerned with who, what and how others react. That may factor into the equation but it should not be what we seek to solve.

I look forward to reading more. Thanks for sharing.

By: Earnest

Earnest — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:47:37 +0000

It is great that you got beyond worrying about what others were labeling you and your relationship. It is hard to do, and we all slip sometimes on this, but in the end, we have to also remember that even labeling our relationships as interracial is preventing us from simply enjoying the relationship, which is what is most important. Unfortunately though our society thrives on one label after another, which all too often prevents us from just simply being. Thanks for sharing.

By: Shirl

Shirl — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:49:44 +0000

Wow – This seems to be a common thread of those who are in interracial relationships. Living in a small town in the south, my identity became “that white woman with the black guy”, or “the woman with the mixed kids”. It took me a while to adjust and surprised me that my relationship was defined beyond “a woman in a relationship”.

By: LeMiL

LeMiL — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 05:40:19 +0000

I just stumbled here from ARP, and I wound up spending quite some time reading over you past posts. A lot of what you write resonates with me in one way or another, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing the stories. I completely agree with you about feelings of trying to be the “perfect” anti-racist, and feeling odd when your interracial identity is not visible to others and how you wind up being treated differently when it is (whether it’s in a positive or negative way). It’s been an interesting journey of self-discovery and growth.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 23:26:53 +0000

Hi Gori Girl! I have never found a good read on the topic actually. Do you have one? I have thought about writing one myself, that’s why I started this blog. There is so much to really knowing yourself, your race, your culture, and the way you relate to others.
I would say my real growth began when I went to live in the Caribbean and was the only white person in a completely different culture, in a sea of black faces. That was before (and where) I met my husband. The situation forced me to loose my identity, find it again, and rebuild it. But not everyone has 3 or 4 years to immerse themselves like that! The other thing that has helped is my spiritual connection, vis-a-vis Rev. Michael Beckwith of the Agape International Spiritual Center.
Perhaps we should partner on a book? Gather a few different people in a variety of intercultural interracial relationships.

By: Gori Girl

Gori Girl — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 16:34:49 +0000

I think it’s great that you’ve become more comfortable with yourself vis-à-vis your interracial relationship. It sounds like most of the change just came through time – but do you think there was anything you read or specifically experienced that helped you along the way?

By: Lucie @ Unconventional Origins

Lucie @ Unconventional Origins — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 13:58:14 +0000

Thanks for the link back to the post at ARP! I am glad you got something out of the piece.

The thoughts that went through your head at the beginning of your relationship (and when your children were born) echo almost exactly some of the same questions I asked myself. I think those first few months, when the relationship starts to get serious, can be some of the hardest to navigate in an interracial relationship (other hardest – meeting the fam!). Kudos to you for sharing!