Navigating the world with my inter-racial, inter-cultural family
I have been celebrating all day with my girls. We’ve been dancing, singing, talking, enjoying. We had the priviledge of enjoying the beach on this sunny California day.
Will.i.am’s “It’s a new Day” was pounding out of the speakers tonight when I asked my oldest daughter (6 y/o), “Do you understand why it’s a big deal that Barrack Obama is our new president?”
She said, “No”.
I said, “It’s because he is the first (and I raised my eyebrows) black President.”
She said, “So.”
I can’t say I was too surprised by her reaction, but I did feel a bit of guilt. Should she know better? I am conflicted.
On one hand her saying “so” meant to me that she was thinking, “of course mom, why wouldn’t he be president?” Her knowing of the world is still “anything’s possible”. So perhaps her lack of excitement or even wonder about it, was really her way of saying, “duh mom, anyone who’s as popular as Barack Obama should be President.”
On the other hand, it’s sad that she doesn’t understand the sheer weight of this moment in time. The moment that actually has opened the door to “anything really is possible”.
Should I feel guilty, exceptionally white, or conflicted because my daughter does not know or understand the plight of black people in her country. My husband of course is little help. Though he gets it, he’s not American. In his country all of the President’s are black! All of his teachers are black. All of his friends are black. 97% of the population is black! Of course logically, and intellectually he gets it. But it’s not the same. And should it be? Is it necessary that my daughter knows the history of African American’s to appreciate the moment?
I am a white woman, mother of two, married to a man from the Eastern Caribbean. I work to understand my whiteness everyday; and though I am a bit of a Pollyanna, I hope you find substance in my writing. I welcome your comments.
Gori Girl
January 21st, 2009 at 2:17 am
Given your children’s ages, I think it’s more important that they have memories of celebrating this day than that they understand the full impact of it today. After all, when will they truly understand racism & how Obama signifies hope? When they’ve experienced racism firsthand themselves? When they’ve read about the civil rights movement in 4th grade social studies? When they write a paper on “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” in a college American History class?
There are layers of understanding, and they’ll eventually (sadly) peel more and more layers away as they get older. At the moment, it’s enough that they know today is a good day because Obama became our country’s president.
Zen
January 24th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Everything is both Yin and Yang isn’t
Shirl
January 30th, 2009 at 2:38 am
You know, I was experiencing the same kind of feelings with my youngest who just turned 9. She still has a childish innocence and seems to turn away from “real world” issues. My older daughter (10) is the exact opposite and will exhaust you with her thirst of knowledge. Even with their close ages, their impression of this time in history is very different. Perhaps our “babies” will develop an appreciation of the monumental importance of this time in the future. All that aside, I think you are a great mom!