Navigating the world with my inter-racial, inter-cultural family
Celebrate!
I feel inspired by the differences between my American culture and my husband’s West Indian culture. I celebrate our differences and hope to celebrate yours. PLEASE contribute by sharing the myriad of cultural differences in your marriage or relationship….
My husband is “bossy” (by American standards). He ‘asks’ for what he wants and spares the politeness for strangers. I have adapted to this style, and our kids know nothing different. I remember when I first moved to the Caribbean, I thought everyone was so rude by excluding the “pleases” and “thanks you’s” from their requests, which sounded more like demands. But to many West Indians an utterance of please means we are not friends.
I was told several times, “We are friends, stop saying please.”
So when you hear my husband order me around, “go get that towel.” Just know that I order him around the same and we love each other evermore!
Elizabeth, married 8 years, culture: American, Jewish, West Indian
2 Responses to “Celebrate!”
Leave a reply
About this blog
I am a white woman, mother of two, married to a man from the Eastern Caribbean. I work to understand my whiteness everyday; and though I am a bit of a Pollyanna, I hope you find substance in my writing. I welcome your comments.
It can always be used
Stumble It!
Celebrate Inter-cultural Marriage | My ONE LOVE life
July 10th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
[...] Celebrate! « Anti-Racism & “Your eyes look like a lizard’s“ [...]
Rosey
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 am
Hi Elizabeth,
I’m a white Canadian woman in a relationship with a black man who grew up in the Caribbean. He also doesn’t say please and thank you around the house. Not having been exposed to his culture, I didn’t understand why this was, so I would like to thank you for posting your experiences! I guess on some level I must have known it wasn’t a sign of disrespect, or we wouldn’t have lasted this long!